Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
