If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
