there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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