Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
