omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
