dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Randomize