ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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