What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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