He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
