My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
