Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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