I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
