You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
