feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
