This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
