You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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