White coat. Heels.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
