It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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