We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
