We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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