When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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