Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
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