So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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