I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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