God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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