dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Randomize
