The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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