distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
