You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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