Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
