Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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