Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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