I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
