His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
