u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.