His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.