it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My ass is underappreciated
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..