so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
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We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
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Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.