i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?