I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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