just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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