Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Randomize
