He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
