so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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