Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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