I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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