so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
