I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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