If i come over, it means nothing
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
