Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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