I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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