I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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