sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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