She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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