he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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