Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
