This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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