I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
