Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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