I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
