this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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