i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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