I was born with a shot glass in my hand
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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