So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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