Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
