I don't think brook has ever known best
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
