Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
