I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
