as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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