Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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