your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
