the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
